Sunday, August 24, 2008
Just to let you know I'm taking a bit of a blogging break for the next few days. We're back to scouting out new areas in far off distant lands, and hoping to find a house waiting just for our family to move in to. Ha, a girl can dream can't she? :-)
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The season of summer warrants many assorted activities, outdoor ones for the most part due to warmer weather. As you can see in the photo above, our family recently acquired two new tents and our children were thrilled to and eager to set them both up this day.
We have never been a camping family. My husband used to tell me he grew up camping and never liked it. I always felt like the deprived wife because her husband wouldn't go camping when our children were younger, mostly because I too had never been introduced to the joy of camping either when growing up. I just kept thinking of all the simple and pleasurable (and cheap!) experiences we missed out on as our children arrived and the years have passed. Oh sure there have been a few exceptions to the rule, though we barely owned anything of a family tent along the way.
My husband's dislike of camping came back to haunt him when our oldest son was seven years old, accompanying him and one little neighbor boy to their Boy Scout Beaver camp overnight. In the middle of the night, after way too many hotdogs, the neighbor woke up and decided to empty his stomach in the center of the tent, much to my husband's already skeptical idea of revisiting his disdain for the whole thing.
Hotels and renting cottages soon became his ideal type of summer excursion. I can't recall just how many conversations became heated followed by plenty of laughs on the topic of the joy of camping as a family, mainly the children often attempted to coax their father into trying the camping excursions just like all the other families we knew taking them. Tent, camper or otherwise, he just preferred hotels and motels and was going to stick to it. Even campers and motor homes were just not really his thing, although we were really comfortable in our daughter in law's parents motor home one year, complete with fireplace to keep warm. (wink)
Yesterday, that all changed at our home, at least for our children with the new tents to try out, enjoying their own camping experience here at home just for fun.
First order of business;
- Big brother organizing and delegating the set up while mom takes sister to her appointments.
- Next, more assistance required to establish it all "just so".
- Happy little children fill up the tents their way, before mom comes to rearrange it all her way (with flashlights and bow up mattresses for one...).
- Notice the girls' tent area outside the front flaps where our daughter places her shoes with love and care.
It didn't help that flashes of light danced in the darkness on the inner walls of each tent, patterns were created with the entertainment each child provided for one another, and unknowingly, for the dogs. Both dogs eventually settled down nearest to the gate of their enclosed nightly pen, the nearest area to the tents, instinctively providing protection to their owners. There they slept all night long, rather than rest comfortably inside the barn. How sweet this was to see! As per usual for our family, the girls took a while to settle down and the boys were asleep first.
It had been a very warm and humid evening before they entered the tents, but because the temperature has been plummeting more lately by morning, plenty of blankets were supplied in case they became necessary as well as the sleeping bags.
Precisely at 6:30am the next morning (today), mom quietly strolls out through the damp dewy grass to wake up our older daughter for work, noticing how much watery dew is running down the outside of each tent. The temperature outdoors read 68 degrees, quite the drop from the 90 degrees the day before. brrrrrrr....... good thing for the extra blankets, good thing the children had everything they required. In fact, I was impressed no one wandered into the house during the night, all braved the night hours together in their tents.
When I stumbled back indoors, it was here when I began to wonder whether or not I slept at all, though I knew I had for a bit but only little snippets here and there. Certainly the children felt they didn't sleep much, hearing the zillions of crickets, the hoot of an owl, and other such unfamiliar night noises not heard from the comfort of their own beds inside the house.
When the break of day dawned and all of the children were disturbed from their broken slumbers after the (rainforest of) birds residing in the trees nearby began to sing their songs, before daybreak, there were a few disgruntled comments made to one another before each slowly began to doze off a bit more afterwards.
"When did these birds become so loud?" they wondered
"Is it morning already", some declared.
"Who wants to brew the coffee today?", Mom asked
Little did they know, I would require a STRONG dose of the java this day!
The caffeine slowly filled my veins and lifted me off my bottom to work up a storm here this day. The laundry for the family is already complete, the tent contents are on the clotheslines to dry and air out, children were taken here and there for their activities and the boys were participating in their very first golf tournament today.
"Wow, will they be too tired?", I wondered...
Our morning boy is home as I type this, winning sixth place with twenty-eight participants in his category. Not bad for someone who didn't sleep much. Not bad for a "rookie". Not bad considering he went to have fun and came home with the same attitude. He had fun! That is all that matters. Our older son though, I know he's having fun but I'm not sure how he faired yet. He must be tired....
Isn't this the kind of memory children carry with them into adulthood. Oh, the days of summer, they are indeed filled with amazing moments of restless wonder.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
My husband and I wish to thank and acknowledge family, friends,blogging community, and even friendly strangers who have flooded our email box with lovely notes, warm wishes and promised or continued prayers.
All of the emails from each of you have really touched our hearts and we’ve definitely felt your personal tender messages wrap their content's love and care around our family. I/We hope to respond to everyone, but first we want to acknowledge how deeply grateful we are to all of you for taking time to send us notes, leave cheerful messages on our telephone, or call just to tell us how much you love us.
What the road often looks like ahead....
Definition of Suffering ;
- A state of prolonged anguish and privation (noun).
- Having an ailment (adjective)
Let's all face the music and jump forward into a sincere reality - it is sometimes difficult to imagine life in another person’s shoes isn’t it, especially when it comes to hearing about another person’s suffering; either mentally, psychologically, emotionally or especially physically.
No one wants to hear about that. No one likes the discomfort they feel either, lost sleep, constant emotional surges surrounding the entire topic, neither for themselves or for anyone else.
I cried out to the Lord in my suffering,
and he heard me. He set me free from all my fears.
When my husband first suggested it was time to type up a post about his health concerns and leave small bits of updates along the way, we knew we would become vulnerable to other people's opinions and even perhaps to their foot-in-mouth silliness along the way. Perhaps it can become a downer for a few who read and follow the odd blip of medical information posted here because it tends to spark this very same type of discomfort for them and though they mean well, we wonder sometimes if they think before they say something.
It's easy to flick off someone else's journey through suffering especially when our own lives may feel as though they are already brimming over, either from issues controlled or unexpected. We are sometimes completely consumed with precisely what we have before us in our families and homes. Fair enough.
When you arise in the morning,
think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive,
to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
~ Marcus Aurelius
A whole lot of trust and faith, the love of family, and as mentioned previously -and the addition of both positive thinking and joy-filled laughter, all clearly become wondrous refuges. The vignette of having an arm around our shoulder from behind, sitting and leaning under our Lord's mantle frequently does come to mind. Places of refuge. People of refuge. Thoughts of refuge.
As in all trials and sufferings, there is no better place to realign our minds and get ourselves refocused than to sit a while at the foot of the cross, gazing and observing at the suffering before us and remembering how our problems are only a blip compared to what Jesus went through for us. It is then when our hearts and minds become filled with gratitude for all that we have, all that we are, and all there is to come - eternal life with Him forever and ever.
~ St. Teresa of Avila
As with any publicly accessible post online, one becomes a bit transparent of course when worldwide public audiences can read and observe their lives a bit. And within every topic in life, I suppose we are all subjected to criticism even from well meaning folks all or most of the time.
May we request a preventative measure in the future to assist in keeping our journey forward only positive and uplifting?
If the temptation grabs one of our readers to feel the urge to belittle any information posted here by claiming the writing is merely "ultra dramatic in nature" and "surely not actually as bad as all that", then we have a problem with those thoughts. If one feels even the slightest bit of temptation to offer such tidbits of negativity by attempting to dumb down what is written as fact, simply put - please (!) don't even go there.
In contrast to the topic of suffering, and as an antidote to discouraging emotion often carried with it in our lives, life always requires plenty of laughter. I would personally love to assure you - we laugh - a lot. But the drama remains - because it so.
Take every opportunity to give others encouragement
Weeping may endure for a night
but joy cometh in the morning.
~ Psalm 30:5
The “Scenes from a Summer’s Day” photo challenge is still in progress, though no doubt many of our participants are beginning to concentrate more on back to school rather than summer at this point in time. I plan to post a few more between now and the end of next week myself.
I haven’t been able to introduce other challengers to you yet, though their names and links do appear on my right side bar for all to see. I hope you’ve been able to have a visit with them over a nice hot cup of tea this past few weeks. Please consider taking a peak at some of the photography summer fun on their blogs if you haven’t already, but allow me to first introduce you to;
- Donna at Moments like these
- Jessica at Shower of Roses
- Andrea at Running with perseverance
These ladies are all fellow homeschooling bloggers who keep it real with family living in focus. Donna is a fellow grandmother club member, what fun that is for both of us!
Of Flower Fairies
There are two other items I’d love to share with you all, and they are both very near and dear to my heart of course.
My friend Denise is so creative; her blog is even titled with the word in it!
This particular post HERE on making flower fairies is so fresh and fun, especially when making fairies is using phtos of her daughter and grand-daughter. (Yep, she too is a fellow "Grandmother club member!)
Please go (run) and take a looksy, because I just know you’ll love the idea for making it yourself with your kidlets.
To Dream the Impossible Dream
...has officially come true
I would like to refer you to my friend Justine’s adoption blog and ask you to pray for her family’s safe journey. They are in flight as I type this up, on their way to Ethiopia in Africa to pick you their two beautiful new daughters. The journey has been so beautiful for their family, and God has truly touched them in ways they never thought possible. They stepped out in faith and away they go, flying towards this fantastic reunion they have worked so hard to become blessed with.
Her husband is a carpenter, and both their older sons accompanying them on this trip will assist him with a labor of love, complete with all the tools they purchased to tutor the men in the area about his craft to make the next dream come true. Her blog appropriately named “To dream the impossible dream” has come true. Go watch the video clip at THIS LINK , and see how richly they have been blessed and keep up with the trip now in progress.
I have goose bumps just typing this up! It’s been so exciting overall, it really has, even for me way over here depending on her blogging efforts to keep me in tune with all the details.
Ray and Justine – the Kleenex tissues are ready and we can hardly wait to see you on your blog all the way over in Africa with your girls! Woot, woot!!
Speaking of cool bargains, both our boys have become very interested in the wonderful world of golf. After all, aren’t most professional hockey player’s golfers in the off season? snicker
Our local golf course offered golf programs for children last summer HERE which most of ours became part of. Not all were eager to return to the sport right away, though three expressed a sincere desire to attempt the game more seriously this year.
So far, our youngest daughter joins her brothers upon occasion, shooting balls and trying to see how many balls she can sink into the holes on the putting green. Sometimes too she has kept her daddy company in a golf cart when they haul the boy’s golf bags for them as the two of them play from hole to hole during their games. A refreshing dip into the pool concludes their efforts sometimes, mostly as a wee bonus for the day and to cool off from the intensity of the summer sun.
Once the three determined golf wannabees owned their own clubs, we purchased punch cards for golf ball buckets and knew the driving range and putting areas were where they should hang out the most at first, plenty of practice to keep them accelerating from “wannabee” to “newbie”, before entering the world of “rookie” at the very least.
Curiously I consulted one of the golf pros in the shop, inquiring into the fee for a junior golf membership. I was surprised when he decided to prorate the yearly fees claiming the golfing season so much shorter here than in the west. Yes, it’s true. Golf courses around here close their doors for three months at the very minimum, closing mid November for the winter.
Anyway, back to my story here...
He offered me a deal. Yes, a deal! Just as my son was smitten with his deal in THIS POST, I too was offered a deal with a prorated junior membership fee, the cost not even the total of four lessons for a non-member, and a smidgen of a fraction for yearly fees known of back in the west.
SOLD! – heehee
Both boys were registered directly on the spot as members but the deal of the century was when all the additional benefits were verbally reviewed at the same time.
He is just plain ole' happy beating his own score,
never mind serious competition for him.
The boys were placed into two age group divisions and each week they hit the golf course for a three hour time block where all the professionals from the club gave them golf lessons, and a full lunch afterwards. They were awarded prizes each time, given stashes of golf balls for practice games, and a hat with a logo representing the golf course on the front of it.
Not only have they met plenty of game buddies with similar skills thus far, this week they will both be fortunate enough to take part in their very first professionally led *Junior Golf tournament*. Both are quite nervous about the unknown of their outcomes, but how else does a player advance in his skills than to play a more serious game. They have officially advanced to the “Rookie” stage now, woot, woot!
Along with their membership, the boys often are found on the golf range shooting a game together, or concentrating deeply on the driving range and putting areas. Buckets of balls are free for members, and lots of tokens are offered to keep them practising well for several hours at a time. Our back property is also a shooting range, but bird feeders beware of these guys!
I didn’t get to take a photo of the two of them the other day when they manned their first golf cart driving alone to play a round of nine holes, big brother are the wheel, both looking mighty proud. Yes, that was a good day to rent a golf cart because our older son was involved in an evening hockey conditioning camp with grueling dry land workouts and two hours of ice time drills in full gear. Need I mention how well he slept afterwards?
Bucket after bucket, practicing a lot lately
With his continued desire to get out and practise on the golf course, preparing for this week’s tournament, the whole idea of walking that particular day wasn’t appealing for him. He was sore. His muscles were screaming back at him. And wow, did he ever love being behind the wheel of that golf cart for the first time, not having to walk the course pushing his bag in a borrowed golf cart. Our other son though, he had his very own cart to push around...snicker.
Back to my story again...
She's hitting the ball better and farther all the time
Jumping in on the bandwagon, little sister still gets absorbed in her own bucket of balls on my punch card and the new golf tees we pick up at the local dollar store to keep her stash filled. It was a surprise when our older daughter’s friends got into the act after being invited to shoot balls and play a short game one day with mutual friends, so guess who decided she also should get over to the golf course and practice up in case she had the opportunity to accompany the group of friends during their next game together?
Yep, this would be her below.... the one who said she wasn’t very interested in continuing with the game, but it was okay last year to try.
Acting up for the camera, she's on the golf bandwagon
This is the one who didn’t want her own clubs and this is the one who always thought her brothers had lost their marbles for their growing love of the game. How though can she contest those same feelings when all of their mutual friends haul around their golf clubs and join her brothers on the golf course? When in doubt, hop on the bandwagon folks, and she has.
He's got the collared golf shirt, read on to find out more
I have one last funny thing to share with you here about golfing. Our young son (the golf cart deal finder) sincerely desired a golf glove, you know, the kind with Velcro at the wrist to allow for a good fit to keep a good hold and grip on his club when shooting and to also assist in preventing blisters. He has had his share of blisters this summer, and after all many of the junior players were battling the same dilemma.
This past week mother trodded up to the pro shop with him where the staff sadly declared to be sold out of junior sized gloves. Off we went to town next time we were up there on errands, stopping into a store to see what sizes they carried and prices of course. Imagine being told a man’s small leather glove (ONE glove!) was 25.00 plus taxes! I about fell to the ground and bluntly told our son that was overkill. I suppose as I left the scene I muttered something about finding a cheaper one. When he came running to me a few moments later, waving another glove in the air, I started to giggle and listened intently to his squeal about finding one just his size for only 7.00, a Wilson smaller brand name yet (I guess he knows brands now?? hmmmm).
All prepared and ready to head to the golf course the next morning, he walked past me in the kitchen announcing; “See mom! This is how professional golfer carries their glove, in their back pocket like this, the hand part is supposed to be tucked in and the fingers hang down and flap in the wind when you don't need to wear it.”
“Oh”, I said , struggling for words as I bit my lip and halted the hearty exploding mound of laughter beginning to roll up my throat.
Before commencing his game that day, he proudly exclaimed he resembled a professional with that glove on, and later when they were finished, he credited that new glove for producing his best golfing scores to date.
The infamous (one) golf glove that made him golf like a pro :-)
Oh boy! This is such a déjà vu for me, an oozing joyful exuberance and a passion for a new sport he finds incredibly fun to participate in with his brother, his buddy, his friend.
And when they can, their sisters like to tag along to join their fun, getting the hang of it all slowly but surely.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
A refreshing breeze was welcomed yesterday, all outdoor nature's beauty waving to me in the wind. When I spotted this fully bloomed echinacea flower, I knew I had to snap a photo of it, a flower reminding me of the fall season for some reason when we step up medical prevention measures by dropping its tincture into our mouths. :-) Anyway, I was happy with the result, if only to offer me a moment of simple pleasure with its garden beauty.
....a great deal!
Waiting in town with the rest of us for his older brother to complete his hockey conditioning camp one evening this past week, mom decided a visit to a thrift shop was a great way to spend the time, something he wholeheartedly welcomed as a fun perusing activity. After all, when was the last time we were able to fully immerse ourselves into fun thrift store shopping everyone here loves to do.
With his recent whopper earnings from assisting in extra yard work outdoors, he was ready to burn his money, until mother reminded him he should save it for later this month when we would be road tripping again. With his money tucked into his wallet, safely stored in his short’s pocket, he began to "browse", and just enjoy the various sights in his favourite departments within the store.
Then there it was - that voice filled with jubilant excitement, something a mother knows doesn't occur often, at least not to this heightened decibel anyhow.
Before me stood one beaming faced boy, with a golf bag cart on wheels, pushing its way towards me. As it was all folded up when spotting it, he began lifting up the handle and inspecting it for wear and tear. Something had to be wrong he thought for the price listed on the handle was only $4.99! Could it be he thought, only $4.99? Pushing it around up and down one aisle, everything looked and seemed just fine.
Digging into his spending money, he decided it was bargain he just couldn’t' pass up and since then he has revelled in this piece of equipment with big smiles and a walking cool guy strut when traipsing around on the golf course.
A parent has to love it when one of their children finds their own bargain, something actually useful and not only for a moment’s pleasure, using their very own money to enable the purchase. As they begin to get a clear vision of the initial well padded wallets dwindle in the process, reality sets in for how much things cost in the end when the cashier requests payment for even a “bargain” purchase.
Ahhhh, yes! It’s one of the “value of the dollar” lessons we’ve come to know and love since our oldest was a young girl. We still practice this principle today in our home. The children seem to look after things so much better don’t they, especially when their own funds enable them to visualize their part in the purchase.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
....bring the laptop to the coffee shop and sip a latte
Three months have come and gone, the allotted time period my husband gave himself for his back to work trial period. This same duration of time wasn’t just plucked out of thin air; it was the span of time between that particular starting and his next round of doctor and specialist appointments requiring more pulmonary testing and graphing chart data for a myriad of other issues particular to his personal medical case.
With summer vacation in our midst, several of the doctor appointments previously reserved were either bumped, or canceled by medical staff and then promptly rebooked, thus prolonging the original three month’s trial time period unexpectedly by several more weeks.
Here we are now at the threshold of making life changing decisions based on the new medical report findings, and review conclusions after the initial trial period came to its close. Where do we go from here? It's complicated for us, so I'm wondering if I can even attempt to explain anything here, but I'll try. (Actually, apologies for this late post, as I was overwhelmed with life this week, lots of my mind, and the photo above was taken at a coffee shop where I did something not yet attempted. I took my laptop with me and sat with a hot coffee latte and typed repetitiously with incredible verbosity, and then I edited and retyped, and then typed some more. Can you say therapeutic for me? sigh...) Truthfully, we are still stumbling along, trying to remain positive for the road ahead, hoping and praying we make the best decisions possible for everyone and everything involved.
Positive thinking has become a true focus these days, being ever mindful to keep focusing as we live life remembering also the prudent counsel, that of capturing a clear vision for waltzing forward using baby steps “one day at a time”; if indeed (candidly speaking) there are many days when we are successful with our attempt at doing so, our personal world’s complexities offering surprises at every turn.
Previously I shared the information about my husband’s decision to return to work HERE, but I wisely omitted several specific aspects involved as a myriad of details were obviously overwhelming enough for my husband and our family at large, and seriously, we weren’t ready to share them publicly.
One such dynamic detail was the fact my husband was required to live out of town, hours away by air in another city during this trial period while learning a new career portfolio, only home on weekends. Call it a return to an educational endeavor, likened to being back in school with the challenge ahead, the entire package necessitating geographical changes to accomplish the goal set before him.
For the past three months then, our routine fast became survival mode tolerances all week focusing on our own individual vocations in life; hubby with his work challenge and keeping a balance between work, sleep and his medical care, myself remaining at home tending to the children and the home front, keeping an eye on my own scale of stressors to remain steadfast and focused. Thankfully the time has flown by.
The calendar became ritualistic in nature with weekend hours carved around my husband presence, making memories together on purpose if possible, though he also spent time recovering from his purposeful work responsibilities. It seemed strange at first as the phone rang a lot on these weekends, before his staff learned what to do otherwise, bringing out a whole den of bears in the rest of us at home, exposing our fangs and growling at him when his cell phone would suddenly interrupt our family times together.
This type of scene didn't last long! :)
Beach and cell phone don't go together, right?
In no time at all, we soon rolled into becoming the Friday night greeting committee at the airport when picking up my hubby after his flights landed, and offered more pompom ruffling and song with early Monday morning returns. A routine was carved for sure. We were waiting, we were always ready for him to come home.
I suppose many women would go a little bit stir-crazy if their lives suddenly required usurped lifestyles as they know it. Vast changes from having my husband home for sixteen months straight, officially bound together at the hip for that entire time as a family, and then not being together at all, was admittedly quite a change for everyone as one might imagine. However, in our case, my husband has always been involved in careers where travel was necessary, where we’ve been apart for large chunks of time, and thus is one reason why being apart wasn’t as huge of a forefront concern for us if it becomes part of any career package short term requirement.
However, that said, we did incorporate somewhat of a regimented routine together where telephone appointments with one another were permanently etched and logged into our daytimers, a time when we’ve dropped everything and delighted in hearing one another’s voice a minimum of twice daily, morning and evening. Technology what it is, we’ve also used email, text messaging, cell phone, and of course this blog to relay and keep one another abreast of our days.
There were other pressing concerns when my hubby made the decision to return to work. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out my hubby’s entire reserve of natural energies would be part of the challenge just to resume efforts in the office world. Every woman who knows her man’s desires to offer satisfaction with the job well done also knows it sometimes necessitates warranting plenty of elbow room to deal with the additional admitted fact in the midst of it all, that of possessing a AAA personality, and we all know how that is, right? wink
My husband did not want his medical limitations to hinder any possible success during this allotted time frame, so add to the mix eating, sleeping, a simple exercise routine, multi daily breathing exercises, and even the need for napping when necessary, then it's simple really because the remaining hours of the day were easily consumed without the family present. Overall, we’ve done very well with our separation, but that doesn’t make it any easier when everyone is missing him, and he in turn misses us.
Thankfully, his arrival back in the workplace has reaped only positive attitudes surrounding him, cheery faces continuously welcoming him back into the management fold are still stirring up a steady bout of emotions like no other.
The deep care and compassion was an unexpected surprise, colleagues always there to boost his morale and pat him on the back for a job well done, productive team meetings and group luncheons abound to keep everyone in sync, offering a tranquil office environment for everyone. It’s become a group effort to assist in his successful return, something he and I are so grateful for.
And then there’s also been a plethora of faxes, interoffice notes and an abundance of emails flooding into his inbox by well wishers from offices all across North America within the same company making his health burdens at best, feel a whole lot brighter from the positive work environment surrounding him. It’s definitely been a “love in” over there, a fun teasing I poke him with upon occasion.
As if this bunch of heartfelt expressions isn’t enough, add to this the personal emails and telephone calls from family, friends and the blogging community, continual prayers being offered to uphold us during this time, and we have one emotional family standing by, clapping and whistling for him, high fives ready to greet him when he walks across the finish line, at least the trial period finish line that is. And it’s here now; it’s time to make plans for our future, big plans.
My husband gets blown away at times, unable to keep emotions from hovering at all time highs, cherishing the influx of best wishes because truthfully he doesn’t know how long he will be able to remain at work medically or physically as time progresses. One lung infection could land him in hospital within 24 hours, it can and has often happened that quickly.
Like any vocation in life, even with this aforementioned type of continual cheer and feedback, there isn’t always a continual life giving force with the sometimes grueling grind of the job portfolio, but it sure helps to have it anyway. As with any corporate work career, he protects himself from additional added anxiety to (hopefully) keep him as healthy as possible.
Like his new chair, a "John Deere"
chair to match his lawn tractor
It has been a huge sacrifice for my hubby and me to go forth on faith with this decision to attempt returning back to work, however, based on everything included in the mix, work and health, necessary decisions before us are not yet over....
After a three month round of doctor and physiotherapy assessment appointments, there have been additional medical issues discovered with attention to detail on his joints and muscle strength loss (among others) to stimulate and create several down moments in anyone's heart.
My husband has tried to be so brave despite enough reasons to send him loopy recently, and I am almost embarrassed to mention that my own usual rock solid nature has been rattled, bringing me to the brink of spilling tears almost daily the past two weeks before I begin to bite my lip and raise my chin back up again, attempting (!) to be ever positive for the time when all will be well again, that it's just "a moment" to get through. These moments seem to come more frequently; I ask for prayer to remain strong, and brave here...
Meanwhile, things are complicated as usual for us as a couple and us as a family. My husband's lung disease has only one possible future prognosis noted by specialists in three major cities, those of; Vancouver, Toronto and Chicago where all specialist doctors have conferred on this strange and rare disease - and a hands down decision was concluded for the only prognosis possible - that of a double lung transplant.
The addition of a rare blood type, discovering it to be second on the list of rarity blood types worldwide, has only complicated matters yet again. Blood types must match for any organ transplant, that's why this matters.
Our journey has already been long, even grander bumps are now appearing along the road ahead. We pray to become bulldozers to keep plugging along, smoothing out everything in our path, even if only with being upheld by our faith alone.
At the top of the list is a major geographical move to get positioned near Canada's top lung transplant hospital and use my hubby's medical referral to meet the surgeon before winter sets in. It is such a tough and heady thought to consider another major move at this time, but the ultimate in medical care considerations from now until someone in the medical community decides when the line will be drawn in the sand keeps us looking ahead. The paperwork has been submitted. There’s no looking back, only forward. I’ve gone cross-eyed at times, functioning on little sleep due to spending scads of time browsing the internet for real estate possibilities in our preferred new area locales.
It makes so much sense to make this move now while my hubby is still well enough to do it but on the flip side doctors are warning although this is the best case scenario, it can also create additional stress to inhibit the physical nature of the lung disease. It's advice reeling with double speak by the doctors themselves, hardly helping the situation at all.
His work location wouldn't be far from the hospital, something to be grateful for, as well as the ability for great local referrals for continued physiotherapy, nephrology, ophthalmology, optometric, naturopathic, and of course respiratory care. There is also a rehabilitation program location, one of two in all of Canada for him to participate in when necessary, an incredible blessing to be sure.
We have researched high and low for the best possible medical care and my husband's company has matched him up within the US for additional medical care should something occur to prolong the time when his number comes to call. How good is all this? GREAT! They will also move us to relocate closer to the general area if that indeed becomes the reality for backup down the road.
Good news in all of this and there HAS to be plenty of good news right? My husband has escaped the oxygen therapy decision, but will return in seven weeks for another specialist appointment to decide when the time is right to begin this next step.
Admittedly we are becoming a bit frightened at times over “the unknown” and what the future holds, but we also know where our walk is leading us, and I and our family will remain hand in hand with my hubby so he never has to walk his journey alone. We can only pray for greater strength to persevere during what seem to be momentary tough times.
We've also come to the point where we can barely talk about it verbally in great detail anymore; our guts involuntarily begin to churn when doing so with the huge plethora of details afflicting everything. I hope this part too is just a phase. That said if I fail to reply with an update to you privately by way of phone or email in the near future, or I cannot commit to hosting out of town guests during this time as previously thought, I'm hoping those who may be affected can only try to understand because I'll be a little busy the next few months as reality will set in, as I do have a house to prepare for selling soon and on the flip side I also have to find a house to move to! Our preference is for this next step to happen before winter sets in if it’s all meant to be that is. God knows, we don’t, so we’ll just ask him to remain our pilot on this one.
Maybe this is just a phase, part of the big picture, but I have to learn to say that wee word - no, even if only to myself, so I'll go ahead and apologize in advance if I’m stepping on anyone’s toes, or create frustration in any form. I am the type of person who doesn't like to let others down, always keep my word and find it difficult to even appear a bit uncharitable. I won't go into details here and now, perhaps I can share more later, but we are absorbing decisions that lay ahead.
My husband asked me to reveal his medical condition on this blog a while back, mostly in the hope of finding others with the same type of lung disease, that of "Mounier-Kuhns Syndrome".
We’ve been so disappointed that no one has come forward to contact us, and though we know there are others in this big wide world, we cannot for the life of us find them due to patient/doctor confidentiality within the medical field. It's been very frustrating to say the least, so instead he seeks support and hovers around other lung disease stricken patients facing diagnosis for; COPD, Pulmonary Fibrosis, Cystic Fibrosis, et al because of the like-minded nature of sharing tips and hints for basic comfort survival.
In the future, we will continue to share the medical walk in bits and pieces along the way, just to remain "searchable" on the internet for possible communications with others afflicted with this same diagnosis, though we plan to begin a separate blog for this sake.
My husband would so love to talk to someone out there if you share the same disease, please email us if you feel inclined by using the email link at the top left sidebar of this blog, or the very bottom right on the sidebar.
Thank you to everyone reading this long and sometimes verbose update (wink), visiting with us today via this post. Writing this has been one of the hardest things I've done in recent years, it took me so long to get this ready...and although it's not what I wanted still, here it is because I know family and friends were getting worried with me not writing. I'm sorry.
Feel free to keep those cheery notes coming, we love them, and please, may we humbly request that those of you who might want to include us in your prayers, please continue, with thanks from the bottom of our hearts.
Being carried through stormy weather
Jesus I trust in Thee!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
With honeysuckle and clematis vines growing up over the top of it, they are bursting with new blossoms each day. Lovely.
Our one sunflower seed soil deposit via a birdfeeder has grown well, well enough to enjoy the blossoms this week, many of them. Lovely.