June... you're supposed to offer more than this.

It's already June. 

June is supposed to be a great month for closing the books, soaking up more sunshine, tending to seasonal yard clean up and gardening, basically just getting outdoors more often, especially to the water's edge to breathe in the sea air and recover from life's busyness. 

The weather lately though, doesn't seem to understand it's June. Some days have already been way too hot and horribly humid, resulting in sudden debilitating breathing issues. On other days, I'm running for my winter coat again. Crazy! 

June is supposed to be the month for slipping happily toward a summer mode for the months ahead. That's just not happening either. On top of weather issues, we've entered a timing for mental gymnastics with tug of war challenges, a push/shove overwhelming effort at times with health, and the uncomfortable feeling of being sucked dry in the process. I'm not enjoying the entire idea of spending this summer burned out, bummed out, and dusting myself off from being hammered to the ground.

I know for sure, it's tremendously difficult to even admit it, but I just can't seem to get the desire to wrap my head around those small calendar squares ahead, at least not yet. 

Instead, I've been mentally turning the monthly calendar pages over, remembering the little stuff to do, like make those dental and optometrist appointments for everyone, check the well water all three weeks in a row, freshen up a few rooms with a coat of paint, enjoy hobby and down time galore, and eagerly prepare to welcome out of town guests for the wedding ahead. The whole idea of having all eight of our children staying under our roof all together again is very exciting!

I'm convinced the year though is flying by way too quickly. We're battling mosquitoes later than usual, the ones that do damage while sucking on my husband's face in the night. I'm still hoping and praying this long standing sinus dryness and pain finally disappears for good, and wondering where my hubby's health issues are heading with two very poor overall stat drops. I'm wanting to close the school books for an overdue brain dump soon, just finding myself simply counting down our days, realizing too that in a mere few weeks, fall will already appear once again, and this upcoming summer will vanish forever. Now, that's just an awful thought. 

June. Please come to stay. Please offer us steady weather, a fitting month filled with refreshment to come. Please? 

Yesterday, I was able to get out for my usual hike with my ladies. I haven't been for a while, usually due to the poor weather and subsequent necessary hike cancellations. Those times like the past three weeks due to thunder, lightning, tornado threats and monsoon rains.  

When hustling to get out the door to meet the start timing this week, I almost returned inside and slammed it shut behind me. The skies opened up, and suddenly without warning, the rain came down, swiftly pelting the ground with its heaviness. 

Quickly, I grabbed my rain jacket while muttering frustrations to myself under my breath. The immense urge to get out and move was (for me) far greater than the inconvenience of getting wet, so in a split second, I was back out the door and driving out toward my destination. 

I'm so glad I did. Ten minutes later, the rain ceased as I entered our hiking area to join everyone else gathering there. We weren't canceled!

Halfway around our 7.7 km. hike, the sun briefly appeared. Walking at a fast clip, very soon we all tore our jackets off, and my body began thanking me for keeping pace in my usual spot at the head of the pack. 

Every footstep enabled me to pound my heavy heart of late into my forward action steps, and our group's conversations allowed for a lovely and spontaneous bunch of laughter, its lighter content welcomed into my already full head. 

 

As usual, our hike leader's choice of this day's natural environment offered an instant peaceful tranquility for our often fast paced cardio movements, even when that one steep gully grunt climb left me almost breathless along with the others for a few seconds. Cheering one another onward, no one allowed to stop, it all quickly ended up feeling so, so, so good! Yes, it did! 

It's been a season for me of; "Oh sure, I can do that", or "Okay, I'll help", or "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and more yesses".... so much giving, many times without so much as a thank you. Energy depleted, stupid me (!) as I tend to just keep on giving so much of myself. It comes disguised as something sacrificial at times. It does. I've even joked with my children on chaotic days to remember to write on my tombstone, something so simple as "She tried...".  

Seriously though, I've just so often found myself hoping that I can extend my hand, to help alleviate and respond to other's pressures, befriend and soothe a hurting soul, automatically trying to assist family, friends, and neighbors, realizing it's often been to the point of what Elizabeth wrote about yesterday, a lack of "self care". Yes, that's me, my hand is currently raised way up high, pointed to the dark rainy skies above... I truly have spent the past few months placing everyone's needs way ahead of my own. 

I've had to actually sit back and take a moment to figure out; "Wait a second, what is it that I really need myself right now?"

 

Eventually while out hiking, I realized a glorious adrenaline energy had sneaked in and washed over me. Thankful and happy tears welled up in my eyes for believing strongly enough that - rain or shine, this hike just HAD to be mine. I had to own it, determined to begin and then to absolutely complete it, to get through the rain and storms in my mind let alone outdoors, then to find the joy dancing inside my heart after congratulating myself, and wiping the sweat off my tomato red, overheated face at the end of it all.   

Encouraging, I loved finding my husband's text come in a bit later; "You went for your hike after all! Good for you!"

A few of us decided upon a hot beverage location, and while unwinding with my pleasant camaraderie over a cup of hot of tea, everything again felt more focused and right with my soul. 

June. Hard to believe you are actually already here.... It's been such a rough winter, and spring.
 

June... I pledge to you now, as well as to the upcoming months of July and August, that I will take way more time for "self care", to deflect all the life sucking issues being thrust forward towards me these days, to offer them all upward, and "I will" begin to find the courage and strength to use that two letter word - "No"

No, not today. No, sorry I can't. No, outside of my own vocational duties, I'm trying to take these months ahead while knee deep in wedding plans, to begin taking better care of myself, and until such a time as I feel rested, recovered, and at peace in my heart, I'm just not able to tack on many additional items at this time that could possibly take me away from this very necessary personal goal. 

I must get out for my daily walk, to my exercise class, for my weekly hike, keep checking in with my chiropractor for those headaches which have returned, have leisurely dates with my husband and family times in between. There is much to pray for, a roaring to-do list yet unchecked, plenty of activities in full swing, and portfolios to complete.

Nope, not today, but for today, I will think of my own (and that of my family's) health and mental welfare, being extra careful not to volunteer to change my plans as I am usually caught doing, those which tend to affect me in keeping that promise to myself this summer.  

Oh, and dear June, July and August.... I will never miss another hike again! 

You.Are.Mine.... 

I promise.

 P.S. I am having a plethora of trouble with my blog, so many errors upon posting, not tracking properly in readers anymore, and I'm too annoyed to try to figure it out anymore at this point in time. There's the reason for my absence, and when I'm able, I plan to get to the bottom of all of that. Eventually. When it fits life here. Meanwhile, I have a "Ten Things I'm Thankful For" post coming up shortly...

Ten Things I'm Thankful For ~ Early Fall rewind...

Ten things seems so small, so frivolous in the grand scheme of life. 

It's been interesting hearing from friends recently, sharing how tough it's been to find up to ten things to be thankful for this time of year, crashing after all the feasting and festivities from the past month or more.

Heh, I have news for you!

If there are crushing clouds blinding your vision at this time of year, take heart, and go backwards. Yes, rewind to a calmer time, when life was peaceful in your home and heart, when thoughts of thanksgiving were plentiful, and a smile graced your face each day.

Think of ten from a while back, just ten, and that will be enough for you today. Maybe write them down for a splendid visual reminder, cherish each vivid memory of a better time for you, and let your heart sing!

I'm cheering for you. Let me know how you do.

Hugs;

Renee

Here's my ten things from a rewind of months past, as a continuation of a past blog promise.

- 1 - I'm thankful for fields of bright fields of yellow canola beans, located throughout our province of Ontario.These gloriously bright yellow blooms make me smile, every time I pass by a full field of them shortly before harvest time.

I'm fairly sure I've posted photos of canola fields before here, but as I sit here yet again gazing at this particular photo, the one where I found so breathtakingly beautiful, the urge to pull over and snap this photo was an urgent desire. I am still smiling over how beautiful the landscape was in the lovely drive-by find this day. 

- 2 - I'm thankful for great big delicious blueberries from British Columbia, our former home province! 

We are thrilled to know summertime in Ontario includes the world's best imported blueberries, found locally at both Costco, and our grocery stores. 

There's nothing quite so fine as a heaping bowl of these rich antioxidant fruits first thing in the morning. Yum! 

 - 3 - I'm thankful for the barnyard beehive of activity for our girls all summer long, in the wee hours of the morning before heading to a horse show, during a day-long summer camp helper/rider week, or at dusk when the skies wink to those below, tucking horses away and cleaning up for yet another night. 

What a great place for young ladies to be able to hang out with their beastly horse pals.

 - 4 - I'm thankful for an adult son who had to remain behind due to work commitments, when the rest of the family traveled west. He offered to tend to the home front, and ensure this mother that her flowers would remain watered. 

Yes, he could attest to watering all florals, and gardens while we were gone, at least he says he did so.....(confession time) - "when he remembered". 

Honest efforts have a pay off in the end, as a mother forgives losing her many summer plants and florals when an admission comes from the heart, that it wasn't an easy task to complete the watering on a daily basis, both in summer's very high heat, and trying to cope with balancing shift work and sleep. 

Thank you for trying son. I'm sure happy you were able to complete the task as best you can, when able. And besides, it's fairly simple to slip the planter bucket out of my cast iron urns, and slip in another to replace it when the first one dies...like I ended up doing later on. xox

 - 5 - I'm thankful for the popularity of "beaver tails" around these parts, whole businesses dedicated to maintaining their good reputations. Like the summertime "fry guys", these are associated with providing a rare, traditional summer treat that make my children smile, and show gratitude for being able to try another upon occasion.

Our kids are specially fond of the ones made by melting peanut butter and chocolate over top, and then sprinkling them with a few mini reeses pieces bits, all atop of  warmly heated pastry bottoms. Sounds so rich doesn't it? It is. It's a treat, meant to share, and everyone appreciates their summer revisit "tasting" for this dessert fare. 

- 6 - I'm thankful for dear friends who have been so thoughtful towards our youngest grandbaby, sending along love packages sealed with kisses and hugs.  

These adorable summer outfits graced our little missie during our high summer temperatures, and she looked so sweet and cuddly wearing them. Thank you again K. xox

 - 7 - I'm thankful for warm, early fall evenings when ice hockey beginnings offer longer sunlight evenings, though this year's Midget division plays later and it becomes dark by ice time's ending. 

Being a hockey dad to four boys, this one the youngest of them all, my husband still very much enjoys the promise of a new hockey season.

 

Without the NHL this year, we've all been enjoying our son's hockey games, our local OHL team's great winning lead in their divisional play, and the worldwide Junior hockey games, in the wee hours of the morning on television . 

 

I hope you too have been out supporting the little guys this year. Why not... for they too can offer great hockey at a fraction of the cost, if not for free.

 

 - 8 - I'm thankful for our continual efforts and strong desires to get out and observe nature in its truest form, season to season, with our young naturalist group, or on our own, only to keep discovering new (cool) things. 

This was one of my finds while out participating in a morning hike with my lady friends. I was delighted to have a show and tell from one of our naturalist savvy guides, the one who encouraged all of us to pull one out, open it up and discover the silk within this common milkweed Asclepias syriaca pod. 

There was an abundance of them growing wild along our hiking trails. I'm pleased that we stopped to (smell the roses) observe these. 

I was able to easily crack mine open and noticed the milky substance quickly running down my hand. We all remarked on the delicate seeds and soft silky material curled up inside. It's no wonder butterflies and bees are attracted to these plants. 

Interesting facts about this perenial herb; 

"In World War II, schoolchildren across the Midwest collected thousands of pounds of milkweed fluff to stuff life preservers for the armed forces in the Pacific, because kapok, the normal material used for this purpose, came from Japanese-occupied Indonesia and was unavailable. Today, you can buy pillows, jackets, and comforters stuffed with this material, which is wonderfully soft and has a higher insulative value than goose down, from a company called Ogallala Down, in Ogallala, Nebraska. Some people believe that milkweed will become an important fiber crop, as one of its attributes is that it is perennial and therefore does not need to be replanted every year. Milkweed stalks also produce a coarse, sisal-like fiber that can be used for twine, which varies in strength from one plant to the next. This possibility has been little explored commercially, but it was well known to Native Americans."

- 9 - I'm thankful for September, and even October beach days, where the water's edge is most definitely still the best place to be on a warm fall day.  

Everyone loves an afternoon, or early evening break from the usual routines of the day, when walking the shore and keeping it simple please all human senses, where the fresh air and breezes from the water's beyond, seem to carry us into another realm of time and space. None here ever tire of these precious days at the water's edge of summer's end, and none, once settled in, are in any hurry to leave. 

 

- 10 - I'm thankful for friends who humor me, and keep me laughing. This friend was running late in getting her daughter to the barn for horse riding lessons this night. With food in hand, everyone from a distance noticed her nutritious and most colorful salad. 

I could sense everyone suddenly salivating from the freshness on that plate, until she got closer and then I began to giggle. 

Freshness included fruits and veggies alright, but not everyone noticed what I saw from my angle. This friend likes her sweets you see, maybe you've already noticed the m&ms and the handful of trail mix thrown to one side? 

What a great salad huh?   

And here again are a list highlighting "ten things" in a rewind mode once more. As we are in the dead of winter here, just browsing through these photos above made me think of bare feet in the sand, sunset evenings, fresh summer's produce, sweet friends, warm memories, and nature's blessings in every season. 

Maybe allow yourself a stroll through your photo archives to a warmer time, and think of ten things yourself today that have blessed you abundantly. 

Have a great day everyone!

Ten Things I'm Thankful For - mid-autumn rollback

Rolling backwards, as promised... and smiling all the way.

Ten more, always ten in total; Here are another ten random bits of my thankful things, none in particular order or semblance, just things I find motivating for thoughts of gratitude. 

Are you writing yours down, keeping them close to your heart at the very least? With the new year coming, why not start now? 

 

 - 1 - I'm thankful for trail walking, where peace and serenity fill a soul with humble thoughts, grand steps on beautiful paths, and thoughts of loving family members roll round and round one's head. That's what it's like for me me anyway, while out walking on trails and pathways. How about you? Do take time to get outdoors and delight in the gifts of each season. 

The trail above is on my own property, just steps away from my back door off the kitchen. 

- 2 - I'm thankful for hiking buddies who value spontaneous happen-chances, like the one above when we all walked in with sweaty faces, obvious clothing to indicate our most recent activity together, and the woman graciously welcomed the crowd of we women in anyway. 

Yes folks, this is a very small chocolate factory featuring Belgian chocolate, where the behind the scenes takes place for making and molding the chocolate fancies, and folks can stop by to see a small storefront with items for sale. They say no one rarely knows the treasures in their own local area, and I believe that is so true, mostly because this one is under eight minutes from my home and I would not have known it was even there. 

Take a close look in the first photo above. That is a chocolate wedding cake folks! Yes, indeed, it is! And to the right of it, note the Lucille Ball photo of her one day job at the chocolate factory. We are Lucy fans, so of course that one caught my eye. But then, so did the items in the case below it, and the other assorted molded chocolates behind me. 

 - 3 - I'm thankful for our daughter finally admitting life on an actual horse isn't all that bad after traumatically growing out of the pony she was so attached to. This horse is named "Aussie", and had so much attitude at first, but has grown to love and ride well for our daughter. 

Shockingly, the two have bonded to the point where this horse will almost do anything for our girl. Amazing! 

 

 - 4 - I'm thankful for fun things in October, like the family at the barn where our daughters' ride when hosting a Halloween horse show. Last year we were away, so we weren't sure what to expect, but this event met with our surprising delights.

Entire families from our barn, as well as many entrants attended, all encouraged to dress up if desired, for the costume event. Our little missy grandbaby was naturally included when she attended with her mommy above. Adorable of course, it was so sweet to see her perform in front of a crowd and take a first place ribbon, all for the fun of it of course. She was the only baby dressed up though, a little stiff competition for all the rest. :) As for her mommy, she was able to participate in her first horse show since baby was born, so great to see her out there, in the saddle again with the others. 

Our older daughter is back into horse showing

At the end of the very, very long day, the final competition loomed ahead. After both daughters placed well all through their event entries, this younger one has become so brave on her designated horse and surprised us greatly by voluntarily entering the competition to jump the highest fences! UGH! My hubby and I were all sweaty palmed, not knowing what to think as each round saw continued entrants disqualified, while those left standing continued to  jump another raised notch on the bars. 

Our younger daughter stunned us all with her bravery, and um, well, this butt shot. Sorry folks, didn't quite expect this huge reach in the climb this day. teehee...

Up, up it went, higher than she has EVER jumped successfully before, and shockingly she was the last person standing at 3ft, 3 inches. My goodness, my heart was in my throat. I almost gasped and begged her to stop (like WHAT are you thinking girl!), while all the other parents either sweated along with us, or kept loving the event enough to assure me all would be well. At day's end, we now know what this horse and rider, both as a team together are capable of. 

Onward to 2013 horse shows then, but maybe I need to turn my back a few times to get all warmed up to these new heights first. 

 - 5 - I'm thankful for creative pumpkin carving efforts, though it's always, always so much easier than it seems before setting the tip of that knife through the outer skin. Isn't it that way for you too? 

We actually had two carving sessions around here, one for the younger two (above), and the other with a few visiting young adults who attempted to carve one pumpkin between the three of them. 

 

 

They did a fine job, complete with brother dressing up the final result with sister's boots, and mother's oven mitts. It ended up providing a good laugh.

- 6 - I'm thankful for this great book, though not for the faint of heart! It's a true historically accounts of brave men whose only purpose was to travel to the New World, live amongst the Natives, and learn their ways to enable the spreading of the gospel. 

For us, it's great living a short drive away from their proclaimed homes of origin, now more formal holy grounds, where actual saints roamed, and all these life giving Canadian Martyrs once lived. 

It was wonderful to hear of the Canonization of "Blessed to Sainthood" for Kateri Tekawitha this past fall, as she was such a part of their missions throughout geographical North American areas, and how wonderful to be so near to some of her relics resting here.

 

Celebrations, pilgrimages, special masses, and plenty of happy feasting occurred at the southern end of Georgian Bay in the city of Midland, Ontario, at the Holy Martyrs Shrine. If you're ever in town, and wish to visit this holy ground, feel free to contact me.  I love to visit, and have brought many of my own guests to visit, during our past four years living here.

For those who wish to know a little bit more, here's a link to the REAL MEN and the story of the Martyrs Shrine, and about the Meet each of the Martyrs; Jean de Brébeuf, Gabriel Lalemant, Antoine Daniel, Charles Garnier, Noël Chabanel, Isaac Jogues, René Goupil & Jean de Lalande

 

- 7 - I'm thankful for remnants I came across in my science club lesson box. Evidence of former projects both taught and learned by children of my own and others, made me smile with warm memories of those days gone by. 

Yes, I used to teach a science club, and a nature club, both of whom were filled to capacity with students, and parents who wanted to stay and absorb the learning fun. 

Both of these photos above feature one daughter's seed collection. The assignment for one of the weeks was to find as many types of food seeds as possible, collect/wash and dry them all, label in an envelope, and bring to the next class. 

The children were to "trade seeds" to increase the variety in their own present collections, and then we got to work to make displays as keepsakes. I have so many visual memories of these days, of eager, smiling children and never a lesson without a teacher's dream of too many volunteer parents in attendance. 

These were all so well worth all the effort it took for me to attempt keeping them interesting and fun. I really have a soft spot for these types of groups, maybe some day I'll repeat it all again.  

- 8 - I'm thankful for yet another visit from a "pileated woodpecker" who thinks his territorial nature includes owning our property trees! See the damage he did in just two days above? Well, during the next wind storm shortly later, the top of the tree broke off. Obviously though, we knew the tree top was dying or he wouldn't have paid any attention to the tree in the first place. Such is the way these birds were made I suppose. He's such a large, and interesting bird too, almost a foot long. 

 - 9 - I'm thankful for continued little grandbaby moments that make us smile, and bring much joy into our lives.  Thoughts too of our older nine grandchildren living on the westcoast are always on our mind. How lovely to have such great technology these days to see, hear, and love them from afar.

You know the saying.... You know you're a redneck when? Well, this little gal's daddy is a bit of a redneck, loving motors and engines himself, not able to wait longer to introduce his baby girl to the seat on our lawn tractor. She loved it, and didn't enjoy having to get off! Great laughs ensued from this fun moment.

She sure offers everyone around here plenty of sunshine, always chirping and singing up a storm. If only we knew what she says! Such a part of our lives now, it will be a bittersweet day when she moves out with her mama over the course of this upcoming year. But, no worries, that's all in God's bigger plan for her, so it's all good. 

- 10 -  I'm thankful for glimpses of a season's ending, like when autumn begins to turn to winter, and evidences of dried up leaves signal the end of leaf raking, mowing and bagging. Soon, the leaves will be gone, and snow will replace our grounds with glorious white and brightness. 

So much happens at the end of a season, and I often find it intriguing how human intuition takes over for preparing for the changes ahead. One just becomes accustomed to what must be done, how it is to be executed, and who must partake. It's a family affair around here, surely whenever, and whoever, is around that is. So.many.leaves!  

............................................................

As suggested, these blogs may be heading back in time for a fair bit of blog postings ahead. Thankful things are always on my mind, and fresh reminders within photo files tend to take me back a season or five anyway. 

Ten things. It's so easy peasy folks. Muster up your thoughts today, juggle and jangle your memory banks, and jot down your own ten things. 

See you again very soon;

Renee

"Give me a firm place to stand,  and I will move the earth."

  ~ Archimedes