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....part 2
This past November my husband took a week off of work to assist with everything for our move, he was pleased to be able to watch the children in action at their power skating lessons one afternoon. Almost at our destination his cell phone rang and he pulled over to take the call. Realizing something enormous was unfolding when I heard it was the lung transplant coordinator on the line announcing my husband had been formally placed onto the lung transplant list the previous month after his appointment with his Respiralogist. Somehow I always thought when this time came we would be inside of a formal office surrounding with professionals across a desk making this announcement, a private moment indeed. Not here this day though.
Our four children in the back seat, I tried to stay calm and cool but I could feel my heart and stomach up in my throat and couldn't imagine what my husband was thinking at the same time. The nurse offered three Respiralogists in the area as referrals for our move as the surgeon doesn't take on patients for their day to day care. One of the doctors was near our home, under ten minutes to be exact. "Great, we'll take him" I thought. And then she told my husband the surgeon would meet with him in January to discuss "where" on the lung transplant list he would be numbered. She also requested his medical number to fast track a medical file on his case, asking him to tell her during that same call. As he fumbled with his wallet in one hand and cell phone in the other, he dropped the wallet to the floor and I leaned over to help. Then, a paper and pen were produced and I began to document all the information from then on with the doctor referrals and such.
I cried out to the Lord in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from all my fears.
~ Psalm 34:6
Wow! It seemed so surreal during those moments in the family vehicle, both in trying to keep the children quiet and helping out my husband during the call. Most of all trying to remain focused on that moment and then shortly afterward trying to fully absorb "what had just transpired (!)". Our afternoon became quite solemn in nature; glossy eyes were the norm for my hubby and me and there we sat watching the children skate on the ice, trying to offer a smile here and there. This was the day we knew would come. This is what he has defied for so long but here it was now this day before us to absorb.
We were both trying so hard to put on a brave
face shortly after the news came this day
At present my husband is assimilating the news that he has become worse than he was last year at this time, worse than he was before he even began his last round of physiotherapy. This is quite difficult to choke back for him and discouragement is easily trapping his mind these days because of that news. It's as if he never had all that physiotherapy and is strongly recommended and required to return to his lung physiotherapy program once more. This time however, it will be held with a different physiotherapist leading him in his individualized program and at a different hospital venue nearer to our new home.
There is one thing that doesn't offer popularity to a patient in the end, and that would be having to meet and greet new medical personnel to rehash his disease with over and over again because it's so rare, most of the time we spend time educating them on his medical profile to compliment the referring doctor's letter held within his new file. This type of situation is something he prefers to avoid as it causes deep seeded emotions to surface, insecurities and vulnerability to bite hard at the same time.
So, next week then, my hubby must first re-enter the program just as he did before, beginning with a battery of medical tests and a final assessment from the head respiratory doctor in charge. We are told the program here is different, more intense. But, the most difficult part for my hubby is being told the program runs three days a week for six hours each day! With a return to work routine firmly in place, having to leave work for the bulk of three days a week has him pondering the reasons why so much time will be involved. All our answers will come – this week.
And after a rather long Christmas break, the surgeon's secretary has yet to send the informational package with the appointed time for the initial meeting with the surgeon to us yet. A time of huge patience is at hand for sure. Your prayers on the whole topic would be most welcomed.
Meanwhile, we still need to rise and shine every day and that is what I am personally intending to do for this new 2009 year no matter what the circumstances in our life to come - I will learn to "shine"!
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day, saying...."I will try again tomorrow"
~Mary Anne Radnacher
As we are now in the thick of the winter season, we can and will attempt to meet each new morning with hope and grace. We can try always to place our best foot forward! And then, during those moments it fast becomes another chance at a brand new day, another momentous opportunity to literally "seize the day" and begin smiling outwardly, to think big, to pray hard, to dream big, and (of course) to continue making more memories together - on purpose. All of this can only take place if we battle despair and behead discouragement, banishing from our lives completely at every instance. Hard to do at times, though we must try.
Oh for sure; indeed we can proclaim this ideal thought process as daily "check stop reminders", where offering humble thanksgiving soon after acknowledging each blessing we are gifted with. There is always something to be thankful for. Always. So go on...I strongly suggest to you to go on and find that "something" everyone, just find that something!
It's a special thing to realize new beginnings are here for the taking yet how often they can become disposal ideals slipping through our hands instead during every 24 hours. How we allow these all-new, all-wondrous, and all-glorious occasions for new beginnings to enter into our lives, to continue rendering the glass as half full and not half empty shows us our own transparent selves with answers only we can provide when asked our thoughts on such things.
What we believe to be a simple daily blessing, discovering it be to so all throughout our days soon becomes clearer in no time at all, if only we would take a few moments out to seek them. Find them. Let us give great glory and thanksgiving for all these sweet personal things in our days. After we crack a big smile upon completion of one of our check stops during the day, let us all offer all of our human anxieties and frailties back up heavenward. For that single action we will find grace amidst chaos every time.
Settle down my hubby's restless heart. Be still. And let us always remember to give thanks for every little itty bitty thing in our lives.
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.
~ Psalm 31:24
